Day 7: Letter to my ex.
Brandon..
This letter couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m going through a lot right now. I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong with me and why I’m acting so.. crazy. I didn’t think I could love anyone as much as I did you. And guess what? I do.. maybe even more in fact. But my actions are now putting that in jeopardy and I’m just trying to figure out what got me to this point.
It doesn’t all start with you, but you definitely play the biggest part. The 4 years we had together were.. interesting. Some ups, a lot of downs, insanity at points.. But when no one else was there, including my parents, you were. You made me a part of your family. Your parents damn near treated me like their own. And I think that’s what has me so messed up now.
No one knew me like you did, Brandon. I trusted you with all of my secrets, all of my tears.. my life. As much as you said you loved me, you still betrayed me. You still broke that trust I had in you. And now I find it almost impossible to fully trust anyone, to make myself vulnerable to getting hurt again.
I love this man, Brandon. No, he’s not perfect. He’s made his mistakes, but he’s what I need. He’s made so many changes just to make me happy and it’s still not enough. Something won’t let me trust him completely and it all comes back to you.
The lack of trust is what ended our relationship and it was almost the demise of this one. I can’t let that happen again. I have to break down this wall I built up after you because it’s just not worth it anymore. It’s not worth losing him..
